I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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