hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize