You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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