Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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