i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
