I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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