The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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