i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
