I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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