What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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