chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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