Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize