I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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