Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize