you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
