I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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