hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize