Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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