how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
