I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
