I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
