i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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