Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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