I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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