no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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