I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
