Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
