But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
