I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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