I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize