i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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