so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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