I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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