The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
