Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
PANTIES FOUND
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
