the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
