Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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