I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
