I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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