who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My balls are so social today.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
