The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize