you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize