Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
