ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize