Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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