Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
