smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
