dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
