I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
