That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
