Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My liver just had a heart attack.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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