yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize