I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Even the bartender felt bad for me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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