Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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