I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
